Real.......

Thought that giving out alot............
Thought that putting alot of efforts......
Thought that getting back what is deserve.....
Thought that letting off long ago......
Thought that never remember it anymore......
Thought that already forgive it..........

But....
But actually not giving out as much as its expectation......
But doesnt really putting alot of efforts.....
But doesnt really getting back reasonable return.....
But actually just forget for a period of time......
But it will come into mind once in awhile.........
But the strong feelings are still there..........

What we thought are actually what we hope to......
What will truly happen is when we never even think about it........
Real come when no one realise......
Real come when theres no expectation..........
Real will only come when theres no preparation......
nitez.....

I like this feeling

Do my things in front of my laptop.......
Listening to songs........
Chatting with friends........
Surfing the net.........
Playing games..........
Writing my blog.......
Looking for nice pictures on the net...........

Away from my laptop.......
I go swim and sauna.........
I came back and enjoy bathing..........
Lying on the bed and watch TV......
After watching TV..........
I listen to radio in the living room..........

I love falling to sleep while listening to songs.......
I can sleep very well...........
After waking up from nap............
I will sit on my bed and dreaming around haha.....
( i love to dream ) ^^

After getting off my bed........
I went to my laptop and start during some college assignments......
( just awhile^^)
Play game againzzzz..........

After gaming.....
I go for some silent stuffs.........
Reading people's blog..........
Enter to a forum and chat with those listeners and DJ there......
In between......i went to kitchen and make a cup of hot neslo.........( I love the taste )
Continue with my stuffs.....

Before going off to bed........
Usually i will sign in my friendster account to check the daily Horoscope.......
I don really believe in horoscope......
But sometimes those encouragements will give me some motivations to pass my day ^^

Thats what i do in my daily life......
Its relaxing.............
That what i want.......
Not money....not reputation......not fame......not authority......not praising.......
Just.............peace..............
nitez......

Money.....

What so powerful about money.......
I really don understand.......

Money can do a lot of things but not everything.............
Without money.....we can do nothing............(lame)
Thats what most people thought................

But what so big deal.......
With money that enough for our living and some extra for entertainment is more than enough.....
Why Squeezing your brain to look for more.........
whats the point...........

The main explanation is to give their next generation a better life........
Erm......i don really get that actually...............
How is a better life means..........
Extra pocket money to spend..........
Get what others don have...........
Work less compare to others.............
Or have better life satisfaction than others......

Haha.......
If all the above listed are into purposes of looking for more money.................
I believe that the next generation will feel happy because of too dependent....not independent....
This might apply on most of the Asians.......

Asians children are too protected by their parents........
Parents planned everything for them........
Parents even save money for their future expenses.........
Parents buy their children things they want.......
Parents fulfill the children's needs and wants....giving extra often.......

These will make Asians children to misunderstand on the purposes of money......
Once they don have money.....they will suffer........
Then they will feel like money is everything........
By that they will do anything to get money........
This might be the main reason which brings the wrong conceptions of money.........

Asian's parents should learn this from western parents.......
Comfortable and happy life should be provided to the child........
But in the same time........
Do leave them do things and get things alone........
Don every time give them extra....give whats enough........
Set some conditions for the children to get something from you......

Let them learn the process of getting things by themselves.....
Let them feel the difficulties.......
Child grown by this kind of teaching will be more mature than the others for sure....
Because they feel the whole process........
They did step by step........

People will only know how it is when they really involved..........
People will only understand how its work when they did practically involved.....
People will only appreciate when they get it with hard working.........

Going through ups and downs in the life will make a person mature........
nitez....

What is true and what is false......

Is there really an absolute answer.......

If both you and your best friend are working out hard for a particular thing and theres only one...
If one success the other will disappointed......
If both give up.......there will be a waste.....
If both competing......one might hurt.......
If that is a golden opportunity and might appear once in our life.......

What will been done and who will scarified.......
Which action taken is wrong and which is right......

Izit a must to do so..........
Will u regret after all..........

I really hope theres an absolute answer for such situation...........
I think everyone begging for such answer as well.......
nitez.......

Future......

Don't know since when.......
Future seems to be very important in my life.......

Everything is depend on it's future.......no future equal to not worthy......
Every step taken need to determine how bright is the future...........
Even every action before taken ............future is taken into consideration..........

You need to choose your job according to its futurity.............
Same goes to your studies........your properties.....even your life partner.......
What so important about future?

What I have heard from people are.......
You will go through your life with less mistakes.....less time consuming........less struggling.......
Yea.....it might be true......but our whole life is under control by all these.........
Don't you feel suffering?........honestly......i don like this at all.......

Future.....are things which haven come but its coming soon into our life.......
Its true we decide our future.......but not by following others future...........
What you have seen on others now might not suitable for you in your future.......

This is a very flexible matter........
You can either follow others footsteps or create your own.......
Many parents might have the wrong concept on future.........
We could notice that plenty of parents out they encouraging their children to learn and do things according to someone's footsteps who given a good impression to themselves.....

Whats in their mind are.......if their children do exactly what a success person did......their children will definitely moving on the right track.........
In my point of view.......not exactly........

These children might be good in the sense of bright future or high demanding if they success......
I stress again......this happen if they are succeed.....
Children who succeed.....are those really born to be in such track or who are really talented to such teaching process.......

What their parents are doing to them are actually what they want and they are gifted to accomplish......How if those children who are not?
Negative effects will burst until it reaches a serious condition........

So what I think is...........parents should discover their children future and not creating a future which they think its suit for their children........
A planned future is not as satisfy as a gifted future.......
Nitez......

How sad....

Today......
I'm extremely bored.......
Because I have nothing to do......
After waking up from sleep at 11am.....
I opened my computer and go online.....

Sign in my MSN.....
There are 8 contacts online......7 was away and left 1 online......the 'SmarterChild' !!! swt =.=
I think I am the only one who is so free in the morning of Monday which is the 1st working day for most people.....

Okay then...no chatting.....
Never mind......go for youtube then haha......
I think around 7 or 8 video i have watched.......
Suddenly remember that last night me and my friend was watching 'guaitan' (Hong Kong's ghost hunting program).....

So i decided to search that in youtube........after 10 minutes of searching......i manage to get to it...
Every series has separated into either 5 or 6 parts.......kinda annoying cause i need to find other parts manually......

After watched 2 series of guaitan.......come to the 3rd series.........
The guaitan crew was filming in Penang, Malaysia....
This time.....they were going to join the investigation on a well-known Malaysia murder case.....
A 3 years old girl had been murdered and her body had been separated into parts and burned....
The polices manage to collect most of the burned body parts.......but not the head.........

A 3 years old girl had been threaten in such cruel ways......
In some beliefs.....the girl who had been murdered in such ways will be living tough even being a ghost.....

I wander how the murderer could do this to such cute girl......
Her parents and grandma was so sad while knowing the missing girl was killed in such way.....
They try whatever way to know how their loving one being killed........even look for exorcists
They manage to communication with the murdered girl in 'those' ways........

There were some words i cant forget for the rest of my life i think......
The girl spirit telling to her parents and grandma......
She said: I am very cool.....there was so dark.......with the crying and suffering sound....
So sad.......

But because of the law restrictions.......those evidences are unacceptable and consider as not relevant........

Even thought they know who is the murderer....but they can do nothing.......
How sad........
The publics who know this case are willing to give whatever help to this innocent girl.........
But they can do nothing as well......
For certain things.......logical cant really done all the jobs.........
But thats the reality.......So what to do???

Lets pray and wish this girl will reborn as soon as possible and have a better life.....
All the best Ying Ying !!!
I support U!!!
nitez.....

Its beautiful.....

Yesterday night......
After some drinks with friends.....
Discussed on some matters......
Had a precious moment.....
On the way back home......

While walking.......
My mind surrounded by several kinds of problems.....
Some are short-term....some are long-term.......some are easy......some are complicated......
Even though the sky is dark......the stars are shinning....I still cant have a silent and clear mind.....

While looking at the sky.....
Suddenly......felt a calm and comfortable feeling came to me......
Two questions appeared in my mind........
Why are you so suffer?.....Why are you thinking so much?.....(Just like someone talking to me)
Then I realize.....yea....why am I suffer and thinking so much?.....since i wont get an answer......

That night.......my friends do helped me a lot on my problems......
But.....I think the sky and the stars comforted and woke me up the most.......
Life its beautiful actually......
Haha......thank you!
Appreciate! ^.^

Telling truth.....

Its hard to take it.......
Its hard to handle......
Its hard to accept......
Its not comfortable to listen.....
Its not easy to express....
Its not easy to tell......

That's truth!

Truth is a very powerful and sensitive word....
Truth can hurt a person deeply......
Truth can change a person extremely.....
Truth can make a person sad.....
Truth can make a person awake from dreams.....
Truth can make a person depress.....
Truth can make a person energetic......

Such powerful word to have.......
I love that!!!
nitez....

How to get the biggest improvement?

I have been doing the same workout routines for like 3 months.....
I do see some results.....
As in that I feel much easier to lift my dumbbells.....
But my dumbbells weight just maintain there.....
If i increase the weight......
The reps gone down about 30 to 40%.....almost half of it.....
Is that means i cant actually increase the weight now of izit possible...
Is dumbbell workout focus only on my arms and chest?......(i think so coz so obvious haha)
Now I was like imbalance on my upper body compare to my abs and lower body......
Somehow it could give an impression to others that my body size were large......
But its imbalance......
I finding some other ways to work on my abs and lower body.....
Besides doing workout on these parts......
I have chosen to go for badminton and basketball....
Cause its fun and not so boring ......
Doing workout alone is so bored and dull.......
Sometimes is not too tiring to continue but its too boring haha.....
I hope that anyone who read my article could provide me some guidelines to solve my problems..
I appreciate if anyone could give me a help...thanks
^.^

Strange feeling...

Whats that feeling.........
Enjoying tea and chatting with friends in a mamak where theres a prs mlm there.......
Do chat but don really get into it.......
We are friends and we really care about each other.......
But why i have such weird feeling......
Friends around myself are just slightly different from strangers who passing by and having a shot of eye contact......

Why....why.....why.......
I need an answer.......
I think i have some questions......
But i cant combine those pieces of words into a complete question.....
I really don like this kind of feeling......

Something goes wrong......
I need time to build my questions......
Some changes are coming.......
I'm waiting to face.....
Nitez....

Maintaining, Sustaining and Continuing......

Maintaining, Sustaining and continuing.......
Looks easy......but its hard when come to apply those into our life.....
Just talk about my daily workout routines.......
3 sets of 22 reps of standing-pulling up dumbbell workout......
3 sets of 15 reps side lifting to center chest dumbbell workout.....
2 sets of 25 reps push ups......

How many times i have the feeling to stop......
How many times i have the feeling of giving up.....
How many times i have the feeling of disappointing.....

But i know this is how a person improve and be able to move forward......
Those workouts might be easy for 1 normal weight person....
But i don think its easy for a 98kg person like me.....
What else i can do other than continue?
No other option!!!.....just go on!!!!
nitez...

Let it be....

Sometimes......I really wanna give a hand to help......
Sometimes......I really wanna give some wise suggestions......
Sometimes......I really wanna comment on certain things which are going not so right......
Sometimes......I really wanna protect the person from being hurt or insult......
Sometimes......I really wanna pull the person back from stepping deeper into the trap set by themselve.....
Sometimes......I really wanna guide the person to do better......
Sometimes......I really wanna give my time to the person in order to let him or her to feel better.....
Sometimes......I really wanna give them a chance to start all over again......
Sometimes......I really wanna agree with whatever they said......
Sometimes......I really wanna believe with what they said......
Sometimes......I really wanna make them happy......
Sometimes......I really wanna scold the person who keep doing the wrong things since they knew it from the beginning......

But......What I manage to give might not what they want...What I think is right might be incorrect for them...
What I can help might be useless to them...What i think is wrong might be reasonable to them...
What can I do? After trying and trying ......haiz......just let it be......=.=
No matter how......i dont have the rights......
Nitez...

Am I putting efforts......

From not even 1 push up to 35 push ups......
From 5 sit ups to 100 sit ups.......
From don't know how to start a ball in a badminton play to knowing how to smash.....
From not even touch the rim to knowing 3 points shooting.......
From cant even 1 lap of 50M swimming to 20 laps......
From 5 kg of dumbbell training to 14.4kg ......
From 50lbs machine chest press to 200lbs......
From dunno how to cast a skill of a hero to knowing how to own.......(dota)
From dunno how to aim to knowing how to back stab and strategy killing.....(CS)
From dunno how to start a car to knowing how to drive fast......
From hot temper to being very calm.....
From intolerant to being tolerant......
From thinking straight forward to thinking from different angles and different point of view....
Am i putting efforts? i think i do......not much but at least i do......who knows? who cares? =.=
Nitez...

Don expect more......

If i am not wrong.....for sure we always heard people asking these questions.....
Why he dint do it like that?....why he dint do as i say so?......why he did not give what i want?....why he don't know what i want?.....
These question occurred because those people are expecting for more.......
How much people wanna give is up to them.........
The more you expect, the more you will be disappointed........
In my point of view.....
Give what you suppose to give....
Give what you can give.........
Give more if you want to......
Don expect what suppose u get...
Don expect what you can get....
Don expect anything more you might get......
Giving out without expecting for return is the right way.......Thats the way man !! haha
Nitez

Nothing Really Suit..........

Do u ever notice or actually u do notice but u don't seem to feel curious to find out why are some couples are totally not match in your expectation....
You might probably ask.....why do that tall guy will find such short girl to be his girl friend?.....why do that tall girl will have a boy friend who is 10cm shorter than her?.....why do such good looking girl or guy will find a love partner who is a lot more ugly than them?......why do such intelligent girl will have a boyfriend who is just doing car repairing?.....the list goes on.......
Weird right??? There are some reasons why could these happen....
A tall guy wanted to have a short girlfriend because he needs her to alert him about things which he had missed or things which might hurt him.......don't take this as a joke...tall guys really have low awareness of things that are too low from their eye sight......
A short guy is more sensitive and has high awareness of his surroundings.......he will be more sensitive on people feelings....this could attracts tall girls who wanted be to in such caring love.....
A good looking girl or guy will find a love partner who is not good looking is probably because.......the particular person has the inner beauties which attracted them to fall in love and they believe they could depend their living on the person.......inner beauties are referring to...gentle, caring, understanding, independent, believable, high self-esteem and so on....
One of these inner beauties alone doesn't seem to be anything...but if anyone who has the most of these might be a person who u hardly get........but its weird that kinda lot of people who don't seem to be good looking has these inner beauties......this might be the kindness of GOD lolz.....the real reason i will try to get it as soon as possible haha.....
Only in this couple matching matter......we have an early stage of conclusion.........nothing really suit...........things which is same standard doesn't really need to be together........
Nothing really suit......but at least u can change yourself and improve yourself to suit it! haha
Or we can also say it like this......why u wanted to work so hard to suit others .....why don't they trying hard to suit you!!!!!
All depends on how u see things are..........many things are located in Grey area......
Is our responsibility to define them whether these things are in black or white area.....
We change things, not things change us!!! lolz.....nitez guys!

Appreciate.....

If you have a place to stay, foods to eat, water to drink and clothes to wear.....you are consider as in good living condition then 70% who without it....Learn to appreciate...
what i have seen......teenagers nowadays keep complaining on shortage of pocket money to spend, cant follow up the fashion trend, parents dint spare enough time to be with them, stress given by parents on their studies, always locked at home and cant hang out late........
Are all these consider as suffering and tough for these teenagers?If u were to say yes.....I'm speechless...
Teenagers nowadays are too protected by their parents.......they are like prince and princess at home....All things given by their parents are taken for granted by them.......its all they deserve to have....
Do they ever think about how hard is their parents trying to earn living for them?
Some might says that, those are their responsibilities if they want to have a child........That's totally BULLSHIT for me!!!
YES! parents do have the responsibilities to raise their children...but those responsibilities are to provide you care, foods, drinks, shuttle and wearings for you until you have the capability to get all these by yourself.......those pocket money, time with you, stress given to you and locking you at home are actually additional carings on you!!!
They no need to do that if they don't want to do so!!! Again....please don't take it for granted.....=.=
Always remember that we are far far better than those who don't even have the basic needs in their living.......
Not many things which we really deserve it......alot are given by people who are too kind and generous !!!Appreciate them !!! Say thank!!! sweet dream! nitez...

Responsibilities....

Everyone is born with certain responsibilities.......
Responsibilities mean things which u must do as in term of morality in certain position......
Examples are like teacher, father, mother, brother, sister, police and live guard.......they all hold different responsibilities.......
Responsibilities is what u must do in order to show you are a responsible person or its just what u think u should do which came from deep in your heart? i still wandering.......
As to me.....is both.....in term of natural behavior and realistic environment.....
I think people like father, mother , brother and teacher is the most suitable person to bring out the meaning of responsibility.......
As a father...he should always put his family in the first place.....career second and money comes at the end.........
In a family, father holds the most responsibilities......he needs to teach his children....he needs to take cares of his family....he needs to fight for his career.....he needs to protect his family from being hurt.......What a DAD!!!! Somehow father is equivalent to superman for me!
After father, is our lovely mom!.....she brought us out to the world.....who else to thanks if not our mom?!.......Mother is the closest person in our childhood , eventhough till the day we die!
In every mother's 'eye'......their children are always children to them.......it means mother never left their worries and responsibilities on their children no matter they are grown or not......
Do anyone other than your mother can take this responsibility? i don think any.....so love them!!!
Brothers are the second man in family after their father......their responsibilities are same as their father.......brother should take care of everything in the family when his parents are not in.........there is 1 more thing which you don't seem important but it seem very important to me.....as the eldest son in the family......A big brother should also share the impacts and the stress of their mother.......this is what i think most of the son have miss out this important responsibility......it because other than father......the eldest son is the most believable person to the mother......never forget this.......
This important responsibility is always in my heart, not just in my mind!
So before i end ......i just wanna stress on 1 thing.......responsibility is something that came truly from your heart calling u to accomplish and when u accomplished...you will feel happy and meaningful, THAT RESPONSIBILITY!! nitez guys!!!

Friends

Friends are to share happiness, enjoyment, sadness and tough moment with you........
But.....that's the surface u saw......that's normal capabilities or we can say as requirements for a friend....
But whats true friends are.......they notice your weaknesses and search for your strengths....
If they noticed your weaknesses..... they will find ways to tell you, advise you and guide you to improve.....
If they found your strengths....they will praise you and encourage you to improve as much as you could.....
Yes, they share happiness, enjoyment, sadness and tough moment with you but.......they wont just share........
They will identify whatever things you share to them......izit good to share with ???or bad???
This is base on sharing happiness and enjoyment.......many things could make u satisfied, happy and enjoy.....
But not everything u think could make u happy is a good thing to have.....like drugs, alcohol and smoking..
Friends are to remind you what is good and what is bad which providing happiness and enjoyment to you in this moment......
When come to sharing sadness......friends are as a listener and also a adviser to you......
They do listen to your sad story.....while listening they will tell you the reasons which make you sad.....
Its might be reasonable or its actually your problems which resulting such sad moment to you....
Tough moment....Friends share the impacts on your shoulder for you.......they also support you, 'push' you and also making jokes to decrease your stress level.....and not like those who say ' Never mind, we will always by your side'....but they actually miles away from you when you need them....
So, these are what i think a friend should be.......and i will be glade and die with no regret even i have 1 of this friend....nitez

What is self defending?

How do u define self defend? izit take every advantages and opportunities to yourself? izit u can sacrifice your friends and family members to gain yourself a better life? izit stopping yourself to give out things which is possible for you to others in order to make them happier? but......i don think these is right at all...... will u feel safer after u take everything from others? will u feel happier when u grab every advantages? will u feel that u r the best among others if u have all the opportunities? Do u think that u really that important to yourself? if your answers are yes for the questions above........i think u have to reset your mindset.........self defend is to avoid yourself to get into problem which u r not deserve to have.....self defend is to avoid yourself from being hurt by others but it doesn't mean that by doing this u have to hurt others.....self defend is to fight for your rights by not insulting others.......self defend is to defend things u have but not forcing, stealing or grabbing others things......self defend is to defend things which u r deserve to have and not what u think u deserve to have.....Many people are misunderstanding this theory.......i hope u all will really think about this seriously......cause its affect your life and others life badly...nitez

Hold Fire.....

Argument occur because of 1 silly action, 1 stupid word spoken or even 1 wrong body contact delivered..........anyhow argument can extend to fight briefly without suitable explanation and adjustment by each individual involved..........
So, once get the wrong information delivered by others which might make u to lose temper....try 'Hold Fire' and think for 3 sec before taking any action........u might somehow interpreted it in the other way around......Lets assume that u have fought back because of a totally wrong interpretation on the information received.....u will find that u have done a biggest mistake and the most stupid thing ever which u could never play back and run again ........how sad if this happen.......so, don't do thing according to ur feeling.....do things according to logical.......not everything in this world could have the same function of a video clip.....play back doesnt exist in real world......always remember this......nitez

Nice day......

Early in the morning.....i went alone to swim....went alone to sauna and do workout alone......im enjoying doing things alone like today......but i just feel that i might have freedom but i do not have the excitement doing things alone actually....
Today...... is my secondary schoolmate's birthday.....so we plan to go for a dinner at 'small genting' as everyone is calling that.....not bad....good view...nice environment.....and the most important....the feeling of silent and peace are there......we had a good dinner....in between we do chat with each others and we have jokers among us who really did a very good job by breaking the 'ice mountain' haha..... i give a thousand thanks to them because they do really provide us happiness and had made our dinner memorable....thanks!!!!
Come to myself.....kinda moody today.....but i knew this kind of feeling will come once in a while....i have learned to control.......so sry to whom that i have influence they feeling or mood today......but i really glade to have u all as my friends.....without u all.......i could be a lonely pity guy at home doing all stuffs by myself.....
In conclusion......WHAT A DAY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Investment 2

Investment in term of love....For some, love is an important investment in their life...why say so??? coz love could provide them comfort when they need....love could provide them support to fight for thier goals......love could provide them confident to face others.....love can also provide them forgiveness of their mistaken.....But love is an important investment...Only that!.....wont go further.......losing love is just like losing an important investment but not whole life........this is what i have noticed in this city......for some.....love is above everything....but not for people in KL....u might find it from what im referring.....KL should be a kinda evil city to have.......my answer was NO!......is REALISTIC!!! I keep learning many different things from different angles from 1 word....which is REALITY....interesting actually =.=

Investment

What does investment means? izit that u give out something and u will get something back in return? where could we apply this term?...in business? definitely yes! how about in friendship and love? could we? From what i have observed and experienced till now...........somehow it could!!! nowadays.....friends are useful haha!!...they not only provide us entertainment, help and a time for us to release our stress......there is 1 more thing.......they provide them to us as a 'shield' to cover our mistake....on the other hand, we can use our friends as a tool to reach our goals....don't u all agree? its all up to ur perception.....haha investment in the term of love....hmmm...i will continue by tomorrow haha...kinda tired....nitez

Finally.....

Finally....I decided to have a blog. After been all the way here for 19 yrs....I find myself located at KL ( the most modern city in Malaysia)...jealous? no nid to...coz not worth to be so....Im a 19 yrs old jobless ultra ordinary teenager who enjoying college and home life... relax and fun??? Its true...but it wont last for long....In KL, u will suffer after enjoying the once and only priceless teenage moment.....coz u will start learning 1 subject.....sound easy but it depends on certain individual. I dont know whether u do heard b4 the word reality? Thats what I learning about now........tell u what.......not that easy =.=
Thats what i have in my mind b4 i go to bed to recharge my remainning spirit to fight for tomorrow...
Nitez.....